but dismiss your fears

Part of class last week involved thinking and writing about deepest fears.  These are some representative samples; they're an excellent reminder to me about some of the sadness in the hearts of these students who I get the privilege of teaching, laughing with, living with, and loving.  It's too easy for me to forget the depths of the brokenness of souls.

~~~

My deepest fear is that I sink into darkness.

I’m afraid that I will weep aloud if I’m in the darkness alone.

It makes me feel suffocative and helpless. 

My deepest fear is that I could have done everything I can.

I can get along with friend well;

I can read as many books as possible;

I can play instrument;

I can dance and walk and so on;

But result from something that I ever can’t tell,

or I don’t dare to tell.

I missed chances again and again.

Maybe the most terrible thing in the world 

is witnessing the person who you cared leaving you.

My deepest fear is that I am not outgoing.

I want to talk with everyone

but I can’t say anything with others.

I am afraid that I will be disappear on people mind.

I hate feeling sorry.

My deepest fear is that no one understands me and care for me…

To be honest, I’m a vulnerable person

and I want to make others close to me and trust me.

My deepest fear is that someone who doesn’t believe me.

That someone I love doesn’t trust me.

And I can’t make them believe me

though I try my best to prove myself.

I afraid that we will be silent forever.

Watching as everything fall apart.

I hate feeling helpless, lonely.

The unpredicted future: the unknown things.

What will I be?

Best or worse?

Maybe I’ll be the person who I used to hate.

I’m so fear that.

My deepest fear is that I will face the death one day

Nobody can solve the problem.

There’s someone I love.

I’m afraid that they will leave me

And I love the world and the life.

I don’t want to leave

but leaving is the part of nature.

My deepest fear that I can’t do something 

that I like and I want to in the future.

I fear that I am not strong enough to protect those who I love.

My deepest fear is that let them down.

That everyone who trusts me believes I can do

And I will not be able to do

I am afraid that I will be stuck for their disappointment.

My deepest fear is that I’m one person.

I fear loneliness.

I can’t stand doing many things by myself.

I fear that important persons leave me one day.

Maybe I’m vulnerable,

but I try to be a small sun to light everyone.

My deepest fear is that I’m not confident.

Sometimes you laugh at me.

Sometimes I deny myself.

Sometimes I really give up.

I am always afraid that they think I’m not tall, beautiful.

My deepest fear is that no one understand

when I have different opinion,

Nobody trust me, I feel sad.

I hate feeling confused, do not know the truth.

My deepest fear, I face you,

but I dislike you.

Please go far away.

I want to have a happy life without you.

My deepest fear is that I will make my relations feel sad and hopeful.

That my parents believe that I can do best.

But I don’t reach their hope.

I’m afraid that my parents talk with others about how good I am.

But in the end, they find I’m not very good.

My deepest fear is loneliness.

I’m afraid that people around me actually don’t like me.

I’m afraid that people love me feel disappointed for me.

I always try to make them laugh.

I can enjoy staying alone for a short time,

but I cannot stand always being alone.

My deepest fear is that people I love leave me;

people I trust betray me.

Maybe I afraid of anything.

I got but finally I lost,

and I willing that

I never have them.

My deepest fear

is that being abandoned by everyone I love.

I’m afraid of being giving up by my friends

even if I disappointed them.

I’m not afraid of making huge mistakes,

but afraid of not being forgiven by the one I hurt.

Maybe my deepest fear

is that I lose myself.

Because I can overcome loneliness, frustration,

disappointment, or everything

as long as I’m still myself.

My deepest fear is that I lose my relatives and friends.

Maybe I’m not very strong-will,

I need the care from them,

for their care is the real care,

not just to pretend caring you.

My deepest fear 

is that my parents will leave me alone eventually.

And I hate myself,

when I over focus on others whether they like me

My deepest fear is that I am not enough

to be the person who I always want to be.

I’m scared that my indolence will kill me someday

and I’ll never find the right person to depend on.

I’m afraid I will be lost someday

or to be the one I hated before.

What’s more, I’m afraid to support my family when they need me.

Or my deepest fear is keeping going

to have such terrible lifestyle which I have now.  

Deepest fear is that I fail in exam,

or misunderstood by my friends,

or have no courage to talk to the one who I want to talk with,

or have no ability to do what I want to do,

or have no chance to see the one who I want to meet again…

My deepest fear is the dark,

when I was alone in the bed.

Close the light.

The world become dark.

I am afraid of the everything.

Something close the window like a ghost.

In the mirror the ghost in it.

Everything is terrible.

When I listen the music, I feel lonely.

I miss my old friends, and my grandpa.

Something makes me sad.

My deepest fear is that I know myself have many disadvantages

but I don’t have any changes.

I am not good at everything.

For my hope,

it’s not trying my best to do it.

I’m afraid I can’t stand any injustice

and not enough strong.

My deepest fear is that I lose someone

who I’m truly in love with

I’m afraid of being lonely

with nobody to talk with

And I hate being powerless

which means I can’t protect my little world

where people I love are there

My deepest fear is that

even if I have tried my best

I still can’t have the people I love

by my side.

My deepest fear is that I’m not confident enough.

Even though I really want to communicate with others,

I won’t try to communicate with them.

When I talk to people, 

I afraid of watching their eyes.

Because of this kind of fear,

I’m lack of real friend in this college.

I just keep contact my good friends

who are my high school classmates.

Also, I frequently feel lonely

at weekend.

I just play with myself,

though I crave friends.

My deepest fear is that war will break out

and China will not peaceful any more.

I haven’t ability to change other’s mind

of Chinese.

I’m powerless when we faced trouble.

My deepest fear three things.

1.

My deepest fear is that I can’t do nothing with death.

I love my family very much like the family love me.

When my relatives go died I feel sad.

I want to cry.

But I can’t.

2.

My deepest fear is that I can’t do nothing with life.

If the life of the people is forever,

I will love my family all the time.

When my time get limited I feel sad.

I want to cry.

But I can’t.

3.

My deepest fear is that I can’t do nothing with time.

If I can control the time

It will belong to me forever,

I will take good advantage of it to face my life,

love my family and love myself.

My deepest fear is lost my parents.

Once I had a horrible dream:

I lost my parents

I ran everywhere but I can’t find them.

I was crying and shout out,

but I was still in a dark fog,

and no one appear.

Finally I waken up with the tear.

I love my parents very much

and I can’t imagine that my world without my parents.

It will kill me.

My deepest fear is that I feel very helpless.

When earthquake happened, 

nobody can take care of me.

I am very sad obviously,

but family and friends still ignore me.

I don’t like lonely with a crowd of people surrounding me.

I would imply myself that nobody likes me.

My deepest fear is that I do not good enough,

and nobody really love me.

~~~

This week our lesson is about heroes, courage, and hope.  As we think and discuss in class, and as relationships continue to form and deeper conversations happen outside of class, my hope is that they'll find the truth of what Mumford & Sons wrote in After the Rain:  

And there will come a time, you'll see

When love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.