The Light Seems to Have Forgotten Me (deepest fears 2019)


Each time I give my students a chance to put their thoughts into written words, I am blown away by the facility and creativity with which they express themselves in English.  Each year when we talk about loneliness and fear, my heart is broken by the glimpses into their own cracked hearts.  

It’s my honor to share some of their responses with you in the hopes that you may get to know them a little bit more and ask for hope to be brought into their lives, that they would know that they have not been forgotten by the Light.


My deepest fear is abysmal sea
There is endless darkness on the bottom of the sea
And the unknown things
I’m afraid I’ll be swallowed up.  

My deepest fear is that I am not strong enough to hold my whole family.

In my heart, the deepest fear just is
That I can’t find anyone to talk.
Because I don’t bear silence
And I am hungry for coming up 
And talk with others.

My deepest fear is that some life realities.
Some people who need help.
Some people who encounter all kinds of hardships.
I’m afraid to look at it and understand it.
It makes me sick.  
I dare not imagine their experience.
It’s a fear that comes from deep inside.
But I don’t know why I’m so scared.  

I also afraid of that I’ll hurt the people who love me without even knowing it,
Perhaps they give me too much love but I can not give so much.

I am afraid that I will deviate from God’s right path.
I hope I can be firm forever.
Fight that wonderful battle.

I haven’t any value, or no one need me.

My deepest fear is that I don’t want my grandparents to leave me.
In a sense, I love them more than my parents.
Even though they don’t give me life,
They accompany me for a long time.
So I am very afraid.

No one can understand me when I thought it was important.
I find it hard to talk when I am sad.
When I feel lost no one can help me to overcome.

I am most afraid of:
The person I trust most betray me.

My deepest fear is a person in the night.
The night makes me feel fear
And a person makes me feel lonely.
Turn on the light. 

My deepest fear is that I don’t want to face the death.
When my dearest love people go died, 
I often feel desperate and faint,
Hate myself, ask myself, 
“Why can’t you save them?”
I often resent my own impotence.

My deepest fear is about love.
I’m afraid that I lose love and the ability to love others,
Such as get through something that makes me heart-broken, 
And I’m afraid to fall in love with other.
What’s more, I’m afraid to lose faith in the love of my family,
Even though I know deep in heart that they love me more than anyone else.
I just like a fool that sick for love, 
Even though I already have.

I don’t want friends become strangers.

My deep fear is to be left, don’t be care about.
My deep fear is that I’m not good to be my parent’s child.

The game is over,
Everything is done,
And I lose.

My deepest fear is losing people around me.
Especially life and death.
Because I can’t help them,
I just can watch them go, 
And I will feel less secure.
I think it’s terrible, 
Find yourself so weak in the laws of nature.

My deepest fear is domestic violence.
Because it not only do harm to the females, 
But also have great influence in children.

I am afraid that I have a prosaic relationship between best friends. 
We have nothing to talk and have a long distance.

I’m living in the bright world, but my heart died in the darkness.

My fear:
I can’t control my life.
My parents are disappointed to me.
I know this is contradictory.
And no solution.

I’m afraid of sudden death,
I’m not afraid to die, 
But I’m afraid I have something to do before I die.

I afraid lonely, but I get used to lonely.
Sometime, I think the lonely will push me into the abyss,
But hope to be relieved.
In addition, I love the wonderful life,
But I think full of dusk in life.
I always tell myself:
It is duskest just before the day,
However, the light seems to have forgotten me.

After so many years, my deepest fear is friendless.
If someone don’t have any friend, they are really pitiful.
If I were friendless, maybe I will get drunk every day.

I try not to think these things.
But my brain is out of control when I’m alone.

My deepest fear is that I am not good enough.
When my parents refer to it, I tried to avoid answering their questions.

I think I’m not good enough.
I fear I won’t keep my promise.
I fear I’m not capable.
I always escape from difficult things 
because of I fear failure.

I’m afraid of being under the deep sea.
Maybe that’s because I’m afraid of the unknown 
and the feeling of being alone.

My deepest fear is what others think of me.

I’m afraid I can’t be a socially useful person.

My deepest fear is that my depression return again.
I hate it, it bothered my life for a long time in the past.

I was afraid that no one really knew me.
I’m afraid they only know my appearance and not my heart.
I’m afraid that I can’t have the life I want in the future.
I’m afraid that I can’t be who I want to be.
I’m afraid that someone I love will far away from me…

I’m not sure.  My parents work somewhere else.
They missed most of my childhood.

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