Pride and Prayer

I don't like asking people for things.

I don't generally mind when people ask me for things, but I really dislike having to ask someone to do something for me. This ranges from asking someone to swipe me in for a meal to admitting that I am sick (they might decide to check on me! gasp!) to... anything.

It's a pride issue.

It's an issue of my pride, to be honest. And I'm not proud of it (no pun intended; I didn't catch this till I published and read through), and I often don't fight it well.

But yesterday I did ask someone to do something (which is as elaborate as I'm getting, because the actual request isn't the point. The relationship and response are). There were any number of factors in this decision, not least of all the fact that I was kind of in hot water already for not having asked when I should have before.

I was writing about it this afternoon. (Anyone noticed that I process by... writing?)

Another of the things which I noted as something which influenced my actually asking was the fact that I have been asked, numerous times, in so many words, "What do you need?"

And I didn't quite dare to ask outright, or to say I need, rather, I said if you have a chance.

The answer which I received was simple and quick, so much so that I was afraid that they had not fully understood what I was asking. I can.

I asked again, being more careful, taking more time to explain what I meant, and then adding that I trusted them enough to abide by the decision.

And the answer came again, exactly the same. I can. Adding, "You only had to ask."

How often is that the case and I refuse to ask?

Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him! [Matthew 7:7-11]

You only had to ask.


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